Loysville, Pennsylvania

Wine that doesn't take itself too seriously

Small-batch, handcrafted wines made with good humor and serious passion. Every bottle from 5 Schmucks carries a story — and a smile.

Explore Our Wines Plan Your Visit

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Wine barrels aging in the 5 Schmucks winery cellar

Our Story

Born from friendship, fermented with humor

Five Schmucks Winery started the way the best things do — a group of friends with a shared love of good wine and an even better laugh. What began as weekend experiments in a garage grew into something far more special: a real winery in the rolling hills of Loysville, Pennsylvania.

We don't take ourselves seriously, but we take our wine seriously. Every batch is small, every bottle is crafted with care, and every visit comes with genuine hospitality and zero pretension.

Whether you're a lifelong wine enthusiast or just looking for a fun afternoon with great company, there's a seat at our table — and probably a joke waiting for you.

Founding Schmucks

100%

Small Batch

Locally Crafted

Our Selection

Wines with personality

Each variety tells its own story. Bold, bright, sweet, or dry — there's a Schmuck for every palate.

Bottle of 5 Schmucks red wine on a wooden surface

Signature

Schmuck Red

Our flagship blend — rich, bold, and unapologetically bold. Dark fruit notes with a smooth finish that lingers just long enough.

Red Blend Inquire

Glass of white wine with grapes in background

Schmuck White

Crisp, refreshing, and perfect for Pennsylvania summers. Bright citrus and tropical notes make this one a crowd favorite.

White Inquire

Seasonal

Schmuck Rosé

Pink, pleasant, and perfectly balanced. A dry rosé with strawberry and watermelon notes — the kind you sip slowly on a porch.

Rosé Inquire

The Experience

More than just a tasting

Whether you're joining us for a casual pour or a private celebration, here's what makes a visit to 5 Schmucks unforgettable.

Tasting Room

Walk in and pour yourself a glass. No reservations needed — just bring your curiosity and your appetite for good wine and great conversation.

Group Events

Birthdays, reunions, team build — whatever the occasion, we'll set the table. Private tastings and event space available for your next gathering.

Bottle Shop

Take a piece of 5 Schmucks home with you. Our retail selection features all current releases plus seasonal specials you won't find anywhere else.

Visit Us

Come say hello

We're right here in Loysville — pull up a chair and stay a while.

Find us

Address 693 Paradise Stream Rd, Loysville, PA 17047-9037

Phone (717) 956-7430

Email fiveschmucks@gmail.com

Hours Thursday – Sunday, 12pm – 6pm
Walk-ins welcome · Call ahead for events

Ready?

Five Schmucks. One great time.

Whether you're stopping by for a quick tasting or planning a full evening out, we can't wait to welcome you. Give us a call or just show up — the wine's always cold and the jokes are always warm.

Call (717) 956-7430 Email Us